When Love's Not Enough
by ice-woman
Summary: Serena thought she had things all worked out...but now there's something Stanton's not telling her. Takes place directly after Book 8.


            Summary: This fanfic is mainly S/S and takes place right after book eight.  However, this isn't a sweet, sappy, S/S story, because while those are great, they tend to get old.  This one will be taking a dark turn.  I'll continue if I get enough feedback.  So please R/R!

_            Previously:_

_            "I've decided. I'm going to…"_

            He touched her lips with the tip of his finger to silence her, then, pressing her tightly against him, they dissolved into shadow.

            "Stanton, I…" Serena began as they reappeared on her balcony.  "Don't you want to know what I've…"

            Stanton brushed his lips slightly against hers in order to repress her next words.  Serena pulled back, confused and a little offended.  

"Don't you want to know?" she asked him.

"No."  His voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper.         

"But, it's good…I mean, we can, we could…"

"Serena," he began again, this time more firmly.  "I don't want to know.  I don't want you to make the wrong choice because of me and then resent me for the rest of your life.  If you don't want to remain human, then don't do it just because of me."

A slender smile formed across Serena's lips.  "You don't know do you?"

He turned skeptically to face her.  "Know what?"

"That I have another option."

Stanton shook his head.  "What do you mean?"

"I have three choices.  Jimena and the others…they don't know about the third because…because it's not an option for them."

"Serena, _what_ are you talking about?" Stanton asked stiffly.

"I mean that…that we could be together.  I could…I could become a Goddess of the Dark and then we…"

"No," said Stanton defiantly.  As he said it, he flung Serena's arm off of his, leaving her utterly perplexed.  He was puzzled himself at his own behavior.  She was right…this was the one solution they had to remain together.  But something deep inside of him told him it wasn't right.  His sweet, pure Serena didn't deserve this lowly life in the dark.  He couldn't bear it if she had to feel evil surging through her body, night and day, until eventually you've forgotten who you were and what your purpose was.  He didn't want that kind of life for Serena.  

"I thought you'd be happy," she remarked, pain filling her words.

"Serena…it's not that I don't want to be with you," Stanton began.  "But I don't want you to turn to the Atrox and ruin your life for me.  I can't handle that type of guilt!"

"It's the _only_ way!" Serena insisted.  "If I don't turn…we can't be together."

Stanton looked sadly into her sodden eyes.  "Maybe that's how it's supposed to be."

"What?" Serena asked, incredulously.

"_Serena_."  He was pleading now to make her understand.  "No matter how hard we try to make this work, it never does.  Maybe we're not supposed to be together.  Maybe…"

"You really think that?" she asked, more hurt than before.  He could sense the anger rising within her.

"I don't want to," Stanton remarked.  "But, think about it.  When you're seventeen you'll either become a human who won't remember me at all or disappear from my life forever.  No matter what, _we_ lose."

"But I have a third choice!  I could…"

"No!" Stanton demanded.  "I will _not_ let you turn yourself over to the Atrox.  You don't know what an Evil this great can do to you!  You don't understand how miserable and hopeless the Atrox will make you feel."

"I thought you said the Atrox made you feel powerful," said Serena quietly.

"No.  They give me power, but what good is it?  I have an eternal bond to serve something so wicked that they would kill me in a second and think nothing of it.  The only real power I hold over the Atrox is my love for you."

"You love for me?" Serena repeated, growing more furious by the minute.  "You say you love me, yet you don't want to be with me?"

Stanton scowled.  What would it take to make her understand?  "Serena, you're not listening to me!"

"No, I hear you loud and clear," she hissed, going into her bedroom.

Sighing, Stanton took a deep breath then followed after her.  She was lying on her bed staring up at the ceiling.  "Please don't be mad," he begged, sitting down next to her.  "I just don't want you to go through everything I've had to go through.  You don't deserve that."

Serena stilled remained silent, her eyes focused on the ceiling.

"I'm sorry," Stanton whispered, brushing a stray strand of hair from Serena's face.  "I love you," he added as he disappeared.

Serena turned as he vanished, trying hard to spot him in the shadows.  At last she found him creeping towards her balcony.  

"I love you too," she called softly as he left her room.  Her alarm clock read 12:03.  She now lay there, bitterly pondering what to do next.

            "Hey!  No fair, you cheated!  I…I wasn't ready!" Tianna yelled, as she was hit in the back with another snowball.  

            "Oh, give it up Ti," Catty said, sticking her tongue out.  "Just admit that I'm the best."

            "I don't think so!" Vanessa yelled, charging at Catty and pushing her down in the snow.

            "Well, I'm glad you found something constructive to occupy yourselves with while we got the hot chocolate," Jimena remarked, as she and Serena climbed out of the car.  The five were on Christmas vacation in Pennsylvania.  They were using Vanessa's aunt's cabin since they were in Florida for the week.

            "Hey Jimena, hey Serena!" Tianna called, waving wildly as she was knocked off her feet by Catty.  

            "Come join us!  The snow's great!" Catty added.

            "I don't know…I'm kind of tired and…" Jimena began as she was pelted on the head with a snowball.  "That's it!" she remarked, dropping her bags and charging after Vanessa, a clutter of snow in her hand.

            "Come on Serena," Tianna urged.  "_You know you want to_!"

            Serena shot her an appreciative smile but carried on inside without saying another word.

            Jimena dropped the handful of snow she had been ready to throw at Catty and sighed as Serena shut the door.  "It's been _two_ months!"

            Vanessa walked to Jimena's side.  "I take it there's still no word from Stanton?"

            Jimena shook her head.  "If that jerk was going to break up with her, he at least could have let her know instead of leaving her to worry day and night about him."

            "Maybe he couldn't tell her," Tianna replied.  "Maybe it was just too hard."

            "Maybe," Jimena spat, not even attempting to hide her loathe for Stanton.  The only reason she had ever put up with him was because Serena liked him.  She still didn't trust him, but she knew for Serena to trust him, there must be some good in him, _somewhere_.  

            "What if something happened to him," Catty replied, voicing the scenario that everyone else was thinking but afraid to speak.

            "No," Vanessa said quickly, shaking her head.  "He's too strong for that."

            "Unless the Atrox found out about him and Serena," Tianna remarked.

            The four turned and looked at one another grimly before grabbing the remainder of the bags and heading inside the cabin.

            Eight hours later, Serena sat alone downstairs, amidst pizza boxes, popcorn, and empty soda cans.  The girls had bought lots of food to make from the store but decided to order pizza anyway.  None of them were particularly fond of cooking.

            She knew she should go upstairs to bed, but she figured that idea to be pointless since sleep wouldn't come.  She hadn't slept properly since the week after she last talked to Stanton.  It was normal for him to go a few days without contacting her, but over two months?  She knew something had to be wrong.  She could sense it.  No matter how hard her friends tried to comfort and pacify her, she couldn't help but worry about him.  She had no idea where he was or who he was with.  Was he safe?  Was he even _alive_?

            Sighing, she crawled up onto the couch, curling up under the blankets.  Even still her eyes skimmed the darkness, secretly hoping to see Stanton standing here watching over her.  She looked at the digital alarm clock and read 1:19.  She closed her eyes slowly, hoping to finally get a good night's sleep.

            _"Serena…Serena…you have to understand…I can't see you until I'm sure you understand!"_

_            "Understand what?" she was asking._

_            "Me.  You.  Us.  There're so many things you don't know yet."_

_            "So tell me!" she remarked haughtily._

_            "I wish it were that simple."_

_            "But it is!  Just explain to me why…"_

_            "I'm sorry, my love, but I have to go.  They're expecting me."_

_            "Who, Stanton?  Who's expecting you?"_

_            "Goodbye Serena!"_

_            "No!  Wait!  You can't leave me!  I don't know what you want me to do!  Please!  Stay with me a little longer!  Stanton!  Stanton!"_

            "Stanton!" Serena screamed, jumping up.  She looked around her.  It was still dark out and she…she was on a couch of some sort.  It took a few seconds before Serena processed exactly where she was.  But what had happened?  Had Stanton really come to her?

            _No, you idiot!  It was just a dream!  If he had come to see you, he'd still be here!_

_            Maybe he couldn't risk anyone else finding him.  So he came to you in a dream._

_            Or maybe you're just crazy!_

Serena let out a frustrated moan as she lay back down.  She then let out a gasp of both excitement and terror as she turned towards the end table to check the time.  The alarm clock was broken.

So what'd ya think?  Please r/r.  All comments are welcome!  Thanks!


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